Bu \u0259hvalat 1969-cu ilin fevral ay\u0131nda Bostonun \u015fimal\u0131nda, Kembricd\u0259 ba\u015f verdi. H\u0259min \u0259hvalat\u0131 d\u0259rhal yazmad\u0131m, \u00e7\u00fcnki ist\u0259yim a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131 itirm\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc ba\u015f ver\u0259ni unutmaqd\u0131. \u0130ndis\u0259, 1972-ci ild\u0259, m\u0259nc\u0259, o bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmasam, oxucular b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 uydurma sayarlar, \u00f6t\u00fcb-ke\u00e7\u0259n ill\u0259rs\u0259, ola bilsin, m\u0259ni d\u0259 o \u0259hvalata eyni c\u00fcr m\u00fcnasib\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur el\u0259y\u0259r.<\/p>\n
H\u0259min m\u0259qamda \u00e7ox \u015feyl\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131m, amma sonra, yuxusuz gec\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 daha a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131. Bu, he\u00e7 d\u0259 o dem\u0259k deyil ki, ba\u015f ver\u0259nl\u0259r bar\u0259d\u0259 hekay\u0259t ba\u015fqalar\u0131n\u0131 h\u0259y\u0259canland\u0131racaq.<\/p>\n
***<\/b><\/p>\n
S\u0259h\u0259r saat onuydu. \u00c7arlz \u00e7ay\u0131n\u0131n q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131nda oturaca\u011f\u0131n s\u00f6yk\u0259n\u0259c\u0259yin\u0259 yayxan\u0131b \u0259yl\u0259\u015fmi\u015fdim. Sa\u011fda, m\u0259nd\u0259n be\u015f y\u00fcz metr uzaqda h\u00fcnd\u00fcr q\u00fcll\u0259 vard\u0131 – he\u00e7 indi d\u0259 nec\u0259 adland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bilmir\u0259m. Boz-bulan\u0131q suyun \u00fcz\u0259riyl\u0259 k\u0259l\u0259-k\u00f6t\u00fcr buz par\u00e7alar\u0131 ax\u0131rd\u0131. \u00c7ay \u015f\u00fcbh\u0259siz, zaman bar\u0259d\u0259 fikirl\u0259r do\u011fururdu: Heraklitin yaratd\u0131\u011f\u0131 minillik obraz\u0131. Gec\u0259ni sakit yatm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m: ax\u015fam m\u00fchazir\u0259m, dey\u0259s\u0259n, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259l\u0259ri tutmu\u015fdu.<\/p>\n
\u018ftrafda ins-cins yox idi.<\/p>\n
Q\u0259fild\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 el\u0259 g\u0259ldi (psixoloqlar bunu \u00fcmumi yor\u011funluqla izah el\u0259yirl\u0259r) ki, art\u0131q bir d\u0259f\u0259 buna ox\u015far \u015feyl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u00fcb hiss el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m. B\u00f6yr\u00fcmd\u0259 kims\u0259 oturacaqda \u0259yl\u0259\u015fdi. M\u0259n t\u0259k qalmaq ist\u0259y\u0259rdim, amma qanacaqs\u0131z say\u0131lmaqdan qorxub yerimd\u0259n qalxmad\u0131m. \u00d6zg\u0259 fitl\u0259 n\u0259s\u0259 \u00e7alma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131. Bu s\u0259h\u0259rin ilk sars\u0131nt\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 duydum: o, Elias Requlesin \u00abK\u00f6hn\u0259 koma\u00bb Argentina mahn\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 fitl\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131r, yaxud \u00e7alma\u011fa c\u0259hd (e\u015fitm\u0259 qabiliyy\u0259tim o q\u0259d\u0259r yax\u015f\u0131 deyil) el\u0259yirdi. Motiv m\u0259ni art\u0131q m\u00f6vcud olmayan h\u0259y\u0259t\u0259 apard\u0131, yadda\u015f\u0131mda lap \u00e7oxdan \u00f6lm\u00fc\u015f Alvaro Melian Lafinuru canland\u0131rd\u0131. Sonra onuncu ill\u0259rd\u0259 oxunan s\u00f6zl\u0259r d\u0259 e\u015fidildi. S\u0259s Alvaronun s\u0259sin\u0259 ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131, amma oxuyan a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar Alvaronu yams\u0131lay\u0131rd\u0131. Bu s\u0259si qorxu i\u00e7ind\u0259 tan\u0131d\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Qon\u015fuma yax\u0131n oturub dedim:<\/p>\n
– Senyor, uruqvayl\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z, yoxsa argentinal\u0131s\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n
– M\u0259n argentinal\u0131yam, amma on d\u00f6rd ya\u015f\u0131ndan Cenevr\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131ram, – cavab verdi.<\/p>\n
Sonra uzun s\u00fckut \u00e7\u00f6kd\u00fc. Ondan yen\u0259 soru\u015fdum:<\/p>\n
– Malanyu, n\u00f6mr\u0259 on yeddi, rus kils\u0259siyl\u0259 \u00fczb\u0259\u00fcz?<\/p>\n
O, ba\u015f\u0131yla t\u0259sdiq el\u0259di.<\/p>\n
– Yax\u015f\u0131, onda, – dedim, – sizin ad\u0131n\u0131z Xorxe Luis Borxesdi. Biz Kembric \u015f\u0259h\u0259rind\u0259, 1969-cu ild\u0259yik.<\/p>\n
– Yox, – o, bir q\u0259d\u0259r uzaq olan \u00f6z s\u0259siml\u0259 cavab verdi. \u0130ki-\u00fc\u00e7 d\u0259qiq\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259nd\u0259n sonra inamla dill\u0259ndi:<\/p>\n
– Yox, m\u0259n burda, Cenevr\u0259d\u0259y\u0259m, Ronan\u0131n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 metrliyind\u0259 skamyada otururam. \u018fn q\u0259rib\u0259si odur ki, bir-birimiz\u0259 \u00e7ox ox\u015fay\u0131r\u0131q, bununla bel\u0259, siz m\u0259nd\u0259n xeyli b\u00f6y\u00fcks\u00fcn\u00fcz, ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131z da a\u011far\u0131b.<\/p>\n
Ona cavab verir\u0259m:<\/p>\n
– S\u0259n\u0259 s\u00fcbut el\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m ki, yalan dan\u0131\u015fm\u0131ram. M\u0259n yaln\u0131z evd\u0259kil\u0259rin bildikl\u0259ri \u015feyl\u0259r bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fa bil\u0259r\u0259m. Bizd\u0259 babam\u0131z\u0131n babas\u0131n\u0131n Perudan g\u0259tirdiyi burma uzun ayaql\u0131 g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f mate var. S\u0259nin ota\u011f\u0131n\u0131n kitab r\u0259find\u0259 kitablar iki c\u0259rg\u0259 y\u0131\u011f\u0131l\u0131blar. Orda Leynin qrav\u00fcrl\u0259rl\u0259, h\u0259r f\u0259sild\u0259n sonra x\u0131rda \u015friftl\u0259rd\u0259n ibar\u0259t \u015f\u0259rhl\u0259rl\u0259 \u00abMin bir gec\u0259\u00bbnin \u00fc\u00e7 cildi, Ki\u015ferin lat\u0131n l\u00fc\u011f\u0259ti, lat\u0131n dilind\u0259, Qordonun t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259sind\u0259 Tasitin \u00abAlmaniya\u00bbs\u0131, Qarnye n\u0259\u015friyyat\u0131n\u0131n \u00abDon Kixot\u00bbu, m\u00fc\u0259llifin ithaf\u0131yla Rivera \u0130ndartenin \u00abQanl\u0131 teatr\u00bb\u0131, Karleylin \u00abSartor Resartus\u00bbu, Amelinin bioqrafiyas\u0131, o biri cildl\u0259rin arxas\u0131nda gizl\u0259dilmi\u015f, c\u0131r\u0131q-c\u0131r\u0131q olmu\u015f Balkan xalqlar\u0131n\u0131n seksual ad\u0259tl\u0259ri haqq\u0131nda kitab. M\u0259n Plas Dy\u00fcburda birinci qatdak\u0131 toranl\u0131\u011f\u0131 da unutmam\u0131\u015fam.<\/p>\n
– Dy\u00fcfur, – o, d\u00fcz\u0259li\u015f verdi.<\/p>\n
– Yax\u015f\u0131. Qoy Dy\u00fcfur olsun, amma inand\u0131n?<\/p>\n
– Yox, – cavab verdi. – B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar s\u00fcbut deyil. \u018fg\u0259r sizi yuxuda g\u00f6r\u00fcr\u0259ms\u0259, m\u0259n bil\u0259nl\u0259ri bilm\u0259lisiniz.<\/p>\n
\u0130rad yerind\u0259ydi. Cavab verdim.<\/p>\n
– \u018fg\u0259r bu s\u0259h\u0259r d\u0259, bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f d\u0259 yaln\u0131z yuxudusa, h\u0259r birimiz m\u0259hz \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn yatd\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, x\u0259yal al\u0259min\u0259 cumdu\u011funu fikirl\u0259\u015f\u0259nd\u0259 haql\u0131y\u0131q. B\u0259lk\u0259 oyanaca\u011f\u0131q, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 yox. Amma bir \u015fey bilir\u0259m – biz Yer k\u00fcr\u0259sini, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, baxd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131, n\u0259f\u0259s ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 q\u0259bul el\u0259diyimiz kimi, bu yuxunu da ger\u00e7\u0259klik kimi q\u0259bul el\u0259m\u0259liyik.<\/p>\n
– B\u0259s, bird\u0259n yuxu uzun s\u00fcrs\u0259, – o, narahatl\u0131qla dill\u0259ndi.<\/p>\n
Onu v\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc sakitl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n \u00f6tk\u0259mlikl\u0259 dedim:<\/p>\n
– N\u0259 olsun? M\u0259nim yuxum art\u0131q yetmi\u015f ildi davam el\u0259yir, \u00e7\u00fcnki burada iki n\u0259f\u0259rik. B\u0259lk\u0259 s\u0259nin g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259yin olacaq ke\u00e7mi\u015fimd\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 \u00f6yr\u0259nm\u0259k ist\u0259yirs\u0259n?<\/p>\n
O dinm\u0259zc\u0259 ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259rp\u0259tdi. A\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259l\u0259n h\u0259r \u015fey bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m:<\/p>\n
– Anam sa\u011f-salamatd\u0131, Buenos-Ayresd\u0259, \u00c7arkas v\u0259 Maypu k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259l\u0259rinin yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 evind\u0259 dolan\u0131r; atam otuz il qabaq \u00fcr\u0259yind\u0259n \u00f6l\u00fcb. Amma \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r iflic olub: b\u00fct\u00fcn sol t\u0259r\u0259fi qurumu\u015fdu, sol \u0259li sa\u011f \u0259linin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 u\u015fa\u011f\u0131n \u0259li divin \u0259linin \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 duran kimi dururdu. O, \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc t\u0259l\u0259sdir\u0259-t\u0259l\u0259sdir\u0259, amma iniltisiz-filans\u0131z \u00f6ld\u00fc. N\u0259n\u0259miz d\u0259 el\u0259 h\u0259min evd\u0259 v\u0259fat el\u0259di. \u00d6lm\u0259mi\u015fd\u0259n bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l ham\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 \u00e7a\u011f\u0131r\u0131b dedi: \u00abM\u0259n \u00e7ox l\u0259ng \u00f6l\u0259n \u00e7ox qoca qad\u0131nam. \u018fl-aya\u011fa d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259k laz\u0131m deyil: bu, lap adi i\u015fdi\u00bb. Nora, s\u0259nin bac\u0131n \u0259r\u0259 getdi, iki o\u011flu var. Yeri g\u0259lmi\u015fk\u0259n, onlar orda nec\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rlar?<\/p>\n
– \u00c7ox yax\u015f\u0131. Atan ad\u0259ti \u00fczr\u0259 dini \u0259l\u0259 sal\u0131r. D\u00fcn\u0259n ax\u015fam dedi ki, \u0130sa M\u0259sih bizim qau\u00e7o kimi, \u00e7\u0259tin\u0259 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yi sevmir, buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr dan\u0131\u015fma\u011f\u0131 \u00fcst\u00fcn tutub.<\/p>\n
T\u0259r\u0259dd\u00fcd el\u0259yib m\u0259nd\u0259n soru\u015fdu:<\/p>\n
– B\u0259s, siz nec\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z?<\/p>\n
– Yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131n kitablar\u0131n say\u0131n\u0131 bilmir\u0259m, yaln\u0131z onlar\u0131n \u00e7ox oldu\u011funu bilir\u0259m. \u015eeirl\u0259r – onlar s\u0259n\u0259 m\u0259xsusi sevinc b\u0259x\u015f el\u0259y\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r – fantastik hekay\u0259l\u0259r yazacaqsan. Atan v\u0259 n\u0259slimizd\u0259n bir \u00e7oxlar\u0131 kimi m\u00fc\u0259llimlik el\u0259y\u0259c\u0259ks\u0259n.<\/p>\n
Onun kitablar\u0131m\u0131n u\u011furlu olub-olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 soru\u015fmamas\u0131 xo\u015fuma g\u0259ldi. Sonra ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr davam el\u0259di:<\/p>\n
– \u018fg\u0259r tarix\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t el\u0259s\u0259k\u2026 Dem\u0259k olar, eyni r\u0259qibl\u0259rin i\u015ftirak\u0131yla daha bir m\u00fcharib\u0259 olmu\u015fdu. Fransa tez t\u0259slim oldu, \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259yl\u0259 Amerika Hitler adl\u0131 alman diktatoruyla \u00e7arp\u0131\u015fd\u0131, sonra Vaterloo alt\u0131ndak\u0131 d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015f t\u0259krarland\u0131.<\/p>\n
Buenos-Ayres min doqquz y\u00fcz q\u0131rx alt\u0131nc\u0131 ild\u0259 bizim ilkimiz\u0259 \u00e7ox ox\u015fayan iki sayl\u0131 Roxas\u0131 d\u00fcnyaya g\u0259tirdi. \u018flli be\u015finci ild\u0259 Kordova \u0259yal\u0259ti \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259r Entre -Rios xilas el\u0259diyi kimi, bizi qurtard\u0131. \u0130ndi v\u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7\u0259tindi. Rusiya yer \u00fcz\u00fcnd\u0259 \u00f6z t\u0259sirini art\u0131r\u0131r, Amerika m\u00f6vhumatcas\u0131na demokratiyan\u0131n d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259ni kimi ad \u00e7\u0131xarmaqdan qorxub imperiya olma\u011fa c\u0259sar\u0259t el\u0259mir. V\u0259t\u0259nimiz g\u00fcnd\u0259n-g\u00fcn\u0259 daha d\u0259rind\u0259n \u0259yal\u0259t\u00e7iliy\u0259 yuvarlan\u0131r. \u018fyal\u0259t\u00e7ilikl\u0259, \u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259nraz\u0131l\u0131q el\u0259 bil onun g\u00f6z\u00fcnd\u0259 p\u0259rd\u0259di. \u018fg\u0259r lat\u0131n dilinin t\u0259drisi bir vaxt quaranic\u0259 (Argentinada \u015fiv\u0259) m\u00fchazir\u0259yl\u0259 \u0259v\u0259z olunsa, t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259nm\u0259r\u0259m.<\/p>\n
G\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, dem\u0259k olar, m\u0259n\u0259 qulaq asm\u0131r. Onu d\u0259rkolunmazl\u0131q, bununla yana\u015f\u0131, ger\u00e7\u0259klik qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda \u0259n adi qorxu tutub saxlay\u0131rd\u0131. Ata deyildim, amma m\u0259n\u0259 do\u011fma o\u011flumdan daha yax\u0131n olan bu yaz\u0131q u\u015fa\u011fa \u0259n inc\u0259 hissl\u0259r duydum. G\u00f6rd\u00fcm \u0259lind\u0259 bir kitab, \u0259ll\u0259\u015fdirir. Soru\u015fdum, hans\u0131 kitabd\u0131.<\/p>\n
– \u00abDivan\u0259l\u0259r\u00bb, yaxud daha d\u0259qiqi, Fydor Dostoyevskinin “\u018fcinn\u0259l\u0259r”! – o, q\u00fcrurla cavab verdi.<\/p>\n
– \u00c7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 yada sal\u0131ram. Xo\u015funa g\u0259lir? – S\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fc bitirm\u0259mi\u015f sual\u0131m\u0131n yersizliyini hiss el\u0259dim.<\/p>\n
– Rus klassikidi, – o, ayd\u0131n t\u0259rzd\u0259 dedi, – slavyan q\u0259lbinin d\u0259rinliyin\u0259 ham\u0131dan art\u0131q n\u00fcfuz el\u0259yib.<\/p>\n
Ritorik co\u015fqunlu\u011fu m\u0259n\u0259 sakitl\u0259\u015fdiyinin \u0259lam\u0259ti kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc.<\/p>\n
Bu klassikin daha hans\u0131 kitablar\u0131n\u0131 oxudu\u011funu soru\u015fdum. O, iki, ya \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn\u00fc, o s\u0131radan \u00abOx\u015far\u00bb\u0131 dedi.<\/p>\n
Soru\u015fdum, oxuyanda personajlar ona tutaq ki, Cozef Konraddak\u0131 kimi el\u0259 ayd\u0131nm\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, tam \u0259s\u0259rl\u0259r k\u00fclliyyat\u0131n\u0131n \u00f6hd\u0259sind\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259yi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcrm\u00fc..<\/p>\n
– D\u00fcz\u00fcn\u00fc des\u0259m, yox, – o, bir q\u0259d\u0259r g\u00f6zl\u0259nilm\u0259z cavab verdi.<\/p>\n
Soru\u015fdum, n\u0259 yaz\u0131r, dedi, \u00abQ\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 sur\u0259l\u0259r\u00bb adlanacaq \u015feirl\u0259r toplusunu \u00e7apa haz\u0131rlay\u0131r. H\u0259m d\u0259 \u00abQ\u0131rm\u0131z\u0131 ritml\u0259r\u00bb bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
– Niy\u0259 d\u0259 s\u0131naqdan ke\u00e7irm\u0259y\u0259s\u0259n? – cavab verdim – Adl\u0131-sanl\u0131 x\u0259l\u0259fl\u0259rin\u0259 istinad el\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n. Ruben Darionun mavi \u015feirl\u0259rini, Verlenin boz n\u0259\u011fm\u0259l\u0259rini yada sal.<\/p>\n
S\u00f6zl\u0259rimi qulaqard\u0131na vurub izah el\u0259di ki, kitab\u0131nda yer adamlar\u0131n\u0131n qarda\u015fl\u0131\u011f\u0131 v\u0259sf olunacaq. Z\u0259man\u0259mizin \u015fairi \u00f6z d\u00f6vr\u00fcn\u0259 arxa \u00e7evir\u0259 bilm\u0259z.<\/p>\n
Fikr\u0259 getdim, sonra soru\u015fdum, do\u011frudanm\u0131 ham\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6z qarda\u015f\u0131 say\u0131r. M\u0259s\u0259l\u0259n, b\u00fct\u00fcn r\u0259smi d\u0259bd\u0259b\u0259li d\u0259fn m\u0259rasimi d\u00fcz\u0259ld\u0259nl\u0259ri, b\u00fct\u00fcn m\u0259ktub da\u015f\u0131yanlar\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn suya pulla cumanlar\u0131, b\u00fct\u00fcn t\u0259k n\u00f6mr\u0259li binalar\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131ndak\u0131 s\u0259kil\u0259rd\u0259 gec\u0259l\u0259y\u0259nl\u0259ri, b\u00fct\u00fcn s\u0259si olmayanlar\u0131 v\u0259 i.a. v\u0259 i.a. Dedi, kitab\u0131 istismar olunanlar v\u0259 \u0259zabke\u015fl\u0259r k\u00fctl\u0259sin\u0259 h\u0259sr olunacaq.<\/p>\n
– S\u0259nin istismar olunanlar v\u0259 \u0259zabke\u015fl\u0259r k\u00fctl\u0259n, – cavab verdim, – m\u00fcc\u0259rr\u0259d anlay\u0131\u015fdan ba\u015fqa bir \u015fey deyil. \u018fg\u0259r, \u00fcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, kims\u0259 varsa, yaln\u0131z ayr\u0131-ayr\u0131 f\u0259rdl\u0259r m\u00f6vcuddu. \u00abS\u0259n bu g\u00fcn art\u0131q d\u00fcn\u0259nki s\u0259n deyils\u0259n\u00bb, – bir yunan s\u00f6yl\u0259yib. Bu oturacaqda \u0259yl\u0259\u015f\u0259n h\u0259r ikimiz – Cenevred\u0259mi, Kembricd\u0259mi – y\u0259qin bunu s\u00fcbut el\u0259yirik.<\/p>\n
Tarixin m\u00f6min l\u00f6vh\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 \u0259ks etdiril\u0259nl\u0259rd\u0259n ba\u015fqa b\u00fct\u00fcn yadda\u015f faktlar\u0131 yadda\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259ri olmadan ke\u00e7inirl\u0259r. \u0130nsan \u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fcnd\u0259n qabaq u\u015faql\u0131qda \u00f6t\u0259ri g\u00f6rd\u00fcy\u00fc qrav\u00fcr\u00fc yad\u0131na salmaq ist\u0259yir; \u0259sg\u0259rl\u0259r d\u00f6y\u00fc\u015fqaba\u011f\u0131 a\u011f\u0131llar\u0131na g\u0259l\u0259nd\u0259n, \u00f6z serjantlar\u0131ndan s\u00f6hb\u0259t el\u0259yirl\u0259r. Bizim g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcm\u00fcz \u00f6z hal\u0131nda yegan\u0259ydi, a\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 des\u0259m, biz buna haz\u0131r deyildik. G\u00fcnah kimi \u0259d\u0259biyyatdan, dild\u0259n dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131q, – qorxuram, ad\u0259t\u0259n jurnalistl\u0259r\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fd\u0131qlar\u0131mla m\u00fcqayis\u0259d\u0259 yeni bir \u015fey dem\u0259yim. M\u0259nim \u00abalter ego\u00bbm yeni metaforalar\u0131n yarad\u0131lmas\u0131, yaxud k\u0259\u015ffinin z\u0259ruriliyin\u0259 inan\u0131rd\u0131, m\u0259ns\u0259 art\u0131q bizim fantaziyam\u0131zla, m\u0259nim yuxular\u0131mla, yaxud ham\u0131ya m\u0259lum olan anlay\u0131\u015flarla yarad\u0131lm\u0131\u015f s\u00f6zl\u0259rin d\u0259qiq uy\u011fun g\u0259lm\u0259sin\u0259 inan\u0131rd\u0131m. Adamlar\u0131n qocalmas\u0131 v\u0259 s\u00fcqutu, yuxu v\u0259 h\u0259yat, zaman\u0131n axar\u0131 v\u0259 su. Ona bir ne\u00e7\u0259 ild\u0259n sonra kitabda ifad\u0259 el\u0259diyim fikirl\u0259rimi s\u00f6yl\u0259dim. Dem\u0259k olar, m\u0259n\u0259 qulaq asm\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n
Q\u0259fild\u0259n dedi:<\/p>\n
– \u018fg\u0259r siz m\u0259niml\u0259 birg\u0259ydinizs\u0259, 1918-ci ild\u0259 siz\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn d\u0259 Borxes oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yl\u0259y\u0259n bir ah\u0131l senyorla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fc unutma\u011f\u0131n\u0131z\u0131 nec\u0259 izah el\u0259y\u0259k?<\/p>\n
M\u0259n bu t\u0259hl\u00fck\u0259 bar\u0259d\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259mi\u015fdim. Ona g\u00f6r\u0259 bir q\u0259d\u0259r inams\u0131z cavab verdim:<\/p>\n
– G\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr, bu t\u0259sad\u00fcf m\u0259n\u0259 o q\u0259d\u0259r t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u00fc g\u0259ldi ki, onu unutma\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n
O, \u00e7\u0259king\u0259n sual verm\u0259yi q\u0259rara ald\u0131:<\/p>\n
– B\u0259s, yadda\u015f\u0131n\u0131z z\u0259ifl\u0259mir?<\/p>\n
S\u00f6hb\u0259timiz art\u0131q yuxudak\u0131ndan daha uzun \u00e7\u0259kirdi. Ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, iyirmi ya\u015f\u0131na \u00e7atmam\u0131\u015f o\u011flan \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yetmi\u015f ya\u015fl\u0131 ki\u015fi yar\u0131\u00f6l\u00fc g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcr. Ona cavab verdim:<\/p>\n
– \u00dcmumiyy\u0259tl\u0259, bu, unutma\u011fa ox\u015fay\u0131r, amma h\u0259l\u0259 y\u00fckl\u0259ndiyin\u0259 d\u00f6zm\u0259y\u0259 qadirdi. M\u0259n anqlo-sakson dilini \u00f6yr\u0259nir\u0259m, h\u0259m d\u0259 sinifd\u0259 ax\u0131r\u0131nc\u0131 hesab olunmuram.<\/p>\n
Q\u0259fild\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131ma bir fikir g\u0259ldi.<\/p>\n
– Bu d\u0259qiq\u0259 s\u00fcbut el\u0259y\u0259 bil\u0259r\u0259m ki, – dedim, – m\u0259ni ger\u00e7\u0259kd\u0259 g\u00f6r\u00fcrs\u0259n. S\u0259nin he\u00e7 vaxt oxumad\u0131\u011f\u0131n, amma m\u0259nim xat\u0131rlaya bildiyim bu fikirl\u0259r\u0259 qulaq as.<\/p>\n
Sonra asta-asta heyr\u0259tamiz misralar\u0131 s\u00f6yl\u0259di:<\/p>\n
– L\u2019hudre – univers tordant son corps ecaille d\u2019astres (\u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcn ulduzlu – pulcuqlu b\u0259d\u0259nini q\u0131vr\u0131ldan \u0130lan – Kainat). Onun heyr\u0259tini, az qala, qorxusunu duydum. M\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259li s\u00f6zl\u0259rin h\u0259r birind\u0259n z\u00f6vq ala-ala astadan t\u0259krar el\u0259yirdi.<\/p>\n
– Do\u011frudan da, – donquldand\u0131. – He\u00e7 vaxt bu c\u00fcr \u015fey el\u0259y\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259y\u0259m.<\/p>\n
H\u00fcqo bizi birl\u0259\u015fdirdi.<\/p>\n
Bundan \u0259vv\u0259l o, co\u015fqun halda \u0259zb\u0259rd\u0259n oxuyurdu, m\u0259n indi Uolt Uitmend\u0259n ki\u00e7ik bir par\u00e7an\u0131 xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram, burda \u015fair ikilikd\u0259, do\u011frudan da, xo\u015fb\u0259xt olanda d\u0259niz q\u0131ra\u011f\u0131ndak\u0131 gec\u0259ni yadda\u015fda canland\u0131r\u0131r.<\/p>\n
– \u018fg\u0259r Uitmen onu v\u0259sf el\u0259yirs\u0259, – \u00f6z n\u00f6vb\u0259md\u0259 qeyd el\u0259dim, – dem\u0259li, o bu gec\u0259ni ist\u0259yirdi, amma t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcf ki, h\u0259min gec\u0259 yox idi. Poema onda ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131m\u0131zdan do\u011fan sevinci yox, ehtirasl\u0131 ist\u0259yin t\u0259\u0259ss\u00fcrat\u0131n\u0131 do\u011furur.<\/p>\n
O, dinm\u0259zc\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 bax\u0131b dill\u0259ndi:<\/p>\n
– Onu tan\u0131m\u0131rs\u0131n\u0131z, Uitmen yalan bacarm\u0131r. Yar\u0131m \u0259sr el\u0259-bel\u0259 ke\u00e7mir. Bizim, f\u0259rqi s\u0259viyy\u0259d\u0259, m\u00fcxt\u0259lif z\u00f6vql\u0259rl\u0259 oxumu\u015f iki adam\u0131n s\u00f6hb\u0259ti zaman\u0131 d\u0259rk el\u0259dim ki, bir-birimizi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u0259 bilm\u0259y\u0259c\u0259yik, bu da h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 dialoqu \u00e7\u0259tinl\u0259\u015fdirir. H\u0259r birimiz dig\u0259rinin m\u0259sx\u0259r\u0259\u00e7isiydik. V\u0259ziyy\u0259t \u00e7ox vaxt aparmaqdan \u00f6tr\u00fc\u0131 h\u0259dd\u0259n art\u0131q s\u00fcniydi. M\u00fcbahis\u0259 el\u0259m\u0259yin, yaxud m\u0259sl\u0259h\u0259tl\u0259\u015fm\u0259yin m\u0259nas\u0131 yoxudu, \u00e7\u00fcnki onun qa\u00e7\u0131lmaz yolu m\u0259nim yoluma \u00e7evrilirdi.<\/p>\n
Q\u0259fild\u0259n a\u011fl\u0131ma Kolricin fantaziyalar\u0131ndan biri g\u0259ldi. Kims\u0259 yuxusunda g\u00f6r\u00fcr, guya c\u0259nn\u0259td\u0259 g\u0259zir, burda ona s\u00fcbut kimi g\u00fcl ba\u011f\u0131\u015flay\u0131rlar. Oyananda b\u00f6yr\u00fcnd\u0259 g\u00fcl g\u00f6r\u00fcr.<\/p>\n
M\u0259n d\u0259 bel\u0259 bir \u015fey el\u0259m\u0259k ist\u0259dim.<\/p>\n
– Bura bax, – ona dedim, – s\u0259nd\u0259 na\u011fd pul var?<\/p>\n
– H\u0259, – cavab verdi – \u0130yirmi frank. Bu ax\u015fam Simon Jaklinskini \u00abTimsah\u00bba d\u0259v\u0259t el\u0259mi\u015f\u0259m.<\/p>\n
– Simona \u00e7atd\u0131r, o, Karujda t\u0259bab\u0259ti \u00f6yr\u0259n\u0259c\u0259k, \u00e7oxlu xeyirxah i\u015fl\u0259r g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259k\u2026 Yax\u015f\u0131, pullar\u0131ndan birini m\u0259n\u0259 ver.<\/p>\n
O, \u00fc\u00e7 g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f frankl\u0131q x\u0131rda pul \u00e7\u0131xartd\u0131. \u00c7a\u015fq\u0131nl\u0131qla g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f pulu m\u0259n\u0259 uzatd\u0131. M\u0259n m\u00fcxt\u0259lif d\u0259y\u0259rli, amma h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 eyni formal\u0131 olan bu yarars\u0131z Amerika ka\u011f\u0131z\u0131n\u0131 ona uzatd\u0131m. O, pula b\u00f6y\u00fck maraqla baxd\u0131.<\/p>\n
– Ola bilm\u0259z! – q\u0131\u015fq\u0131rd\u0131. – Burda burax\u0131l\u0131\u015f tarixi g\u00f6st\u0259rilib – 1964-c\u00fc il!<\/p>\n
(Bir ne\u00e7\u0259 aydan sonra bir n\u0259f\u0259r m\u0259n\u0259 dey\u0259c\u0259k ki, ka\u011f\u0131z pullar\u0131n \u00fcst\u00fcnd\u0259 tarix qoyulmur).<\/p>\n
– B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar sad\u0259c\u0259, m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259di, – o, \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 dill\u0259ndi, – m\u00f6c\u00fcz\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 m\u0259n\u0259 qorxu t\u0259lqin el\u0259yir. Lazar\u0131n z\u00fchurunun \u015fahidl\u0259ri burda d\u0259h\u015f\u0259t\u0259 g\u0259l\u0259rdil\u0259r.
\nBiz yerimizd\u0259n t\u0259rp\u0259nm\u0259mi\u015fik, fikirl\u0259\u015fdim. Yen\u0259 kitab n\u0259qaratlar\u0131 ba\u015flad\u0131.<\/p>\n
O, ka\u011f\u0131z pulu c\u0131rd\u0131, m\u0259n\u0259s\u0259 d\u0259mir pulu saxlad\u0131. Suya u\u00e7an g\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f pul bu tarix\u00e7\u0259md\u0259 ger\u00e7\u0259kliyin t\u0259c\u0259ss\u00fcm\u00fc olmal\u0131yd\u0131, amma tale ba\u015fqa c\u00fcr g\u00f6st\u0259ribmi\u015f. Cavab verdim ki, \u0259g\u0259r f\u00f6vq\u0259lt\u0259biilik t\u0259krarlan\u0131rsa, daha qorxutmur. Sabah iki ayr\u0131 d\u00f6vrd\u0259, iki ayr\u0131 yerd\u0259 duran el\u0259 bu oturacaqda g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015fm\u0259yi t\u0259klif el\u0259dim.<\/p>\n
O, d\u0259rhal raz\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 bildirdi, saata baxmadan dedi, getm\u0259k vaxt\u0131d\u0131. \u0130kimiz d\u0259 yalan dan\u0131\u015f\u0131rd\u0131q, ikimiz d\u0259 bilirdik ki, h\u0259ms\u00f6hb\u0259ti yalan deyir. Ona dedim, indi m\u0259nim dal\u0131mca da g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r.<\/p>\n
– Dal\u0131n\u0131zca g\u0259l\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259r? – t\u0259\u0259cc\u00fcbl\u0259ndi.<\/p>\n
– H\u0259. M\u0259nim ya\u015f\u0131ma \u00e7atanda, dem\u0259k olar, tamam kor olacaqsan. Sar\u0131 r\u0259ngi, k\u00f6lg\u0259 v\u0259 g\u00fcn\u0259\u015fi se\u00e7\u0259 bil\u0259rs\u0259n. Amma h\u0259yacanlanma. Korlu\u011fun t\u0259dric\u0259n g\u0259lm\u0259si faci\u0259 deyil. Bu yay toranl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n asta-asta qat\u0131la\u015fmas\u0131 kimidi.<\/p>\n
Bir-birimiz\u0259 toxunmadan vidala\u015fd\u0131q. S\u0259h\u0259ri g\u00fcn ora getm\u0259dim. \u00d6zg\u0259 d\u0259 y\u0259qin g\u0259lm\u0259di.<\/p>\n
***<\/b><\/p>\n
Kims\u0259y\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m bu g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f bar\u0259d\u0259 \u00e7ox d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 dald\u0131m. M\u0259nc\u0259, indi ax\u0131r ki, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259 yetdim. G\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f ger\u00e7\u0259klikdi, \u00f6zg\u0259 m\u0259niml\u0259 yuxuda s\u00f6hb\u0259t el\u0259yirdi, ona g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259 m\u0259ni unuda bil\u0259rdi. M\u0259n onunla ger\u00e7\u0259klikd\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t el\u0259yirdim, xatir\u0259l\u0259rs\u0259 indiy\u0259d\u0259k m\u0259n\u0259 \u0259zab verir.<\/p>\n
\u00d6zg\u0259 m\u0259ni yuxuda g\u00f6rd\u00fc, amma yet\u0259rinc\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar g\u00f6rm\u0259di. \u0130ndi ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u0259m ki, dollar\u0131n \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 olmayan tarix ona daha ayd\u0131n g\u00f6r\u00fcnm\u00fc\u015fd\u00fc.<\/p>\n
T\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259 ed\u0259ni:
\nN\u0259riman \u018fbd\u00fclr\u0259hmanl\u0131\u00a0<\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Bu \u0259hvalat 1969-cu ilin fevral ay\u0131nda Bostonun \u015fimal\u0131nda, Kembricd\u0259 ba\u015f verdi. H\u0259min \u0259hvalat\u0131 d\u0259rhal yazmad\u0131m, \u00e7\u00fcnki ist\u0259yim a\u011fl\u0131m\u0131 itirm\u0259m\u0259kd\u0259n \u00f6tr\u00fc ba\u015f ver\u0259ni unutmaqd\u0131. \u0130ndis\u0259, 1972-ci ild\u0259, m\u0259nc\u0259, o bar\u0259d\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmasam, oxucular b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 uydurma sayarlar, \u00f6t\u00fcb-ke\u00e7\u0259n ill\u0259rs\u0259, ola bilsin, m\u0259ni d\u0259 o \u0259hvalata eyni c\u00fcr m\u00fcnasib\u0259t b\u0259sl\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 m\u0259cbur el\u0259y\u0259r. H\u0259min m\u0259qamda \u00e7ox \u015feyl\u0259r ya\u015fad\u0131m, […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2408,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[55,44,52,36,63,49],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2407","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-trcum-nsir","category-dunya","category-edbiyyati","category-manset","category-proza","category-trcum"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2407","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2407"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2407\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2410,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2407\/revisions\/2410"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2408"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2407"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2407"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2407"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}