\u201c…Roman\u0131m ssenariy\u0259 daha \u00e7ox ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131…\u201d<\/p>\n
1979-cu ilin pay\u0131z\u0131nda m\u0259n\u0259 rast g\u0259ls\u0259ydiniz, sosial v\u0259 irqi bax\u0131mdan hans\u0131sa sinf\u0259 aid etm\u0259kd\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdiniz.<\/p>\n
Onda 24 ya\u015f\u0131m vard\u0131. Xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fc\u0259 yaponlara ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m. Amma h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 Britaniyada rast g\u0259ldiyiniz \u0259ks\u0259r yapon ki\u015fil\u0259rind\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, \u00e7iyinl\u0259rim\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n uzun sa\u00e7lar\u0131m, “bandit\u201d t\u0259rzli saqqal\u0131m vard\u0131. Nitqimd\u0259 \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259nin c\u0259nubunda Hippi eras\u0131ndan qalma q\u0259dim \u015fiv\u0259 il\u0259 dan\u0131\u015f\u0131lan yerl\u0259rd\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f bir adam\u0131n l\u0259hc\u0259si sezil\u0259rdi. \u018fg\u0259r n\u0259s\u0259 s\u00f6hb\u0259t el\u0259y\u0259si olsayd\u0131q, Hollandiya futbol\u00e7ular\u0131n\u0131n ham\u0131s\u0131ndan, Bob Dilan\u0131n son musiqi albomundan, ya da sad\u0259c\u0259 Londonda evsizl\u0259rl\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259diyim ill\u0259rd\u0259n s\u00f6z salard\u0131m. \u018fg\u0259r Yaponiyadan, onun m\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259tind\u0259n n\u0259s\u0259 soru\u015fsayd\u0131n\u0131z, be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131mda t\u0259rk etdiyim o torpaqlara h\u0259tta bayramlarda bel\u0259 ayaq basmad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131, bir \u00e7ox m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259l\u0259rd\u0259 m\u0259lumats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 dil\u0259 g\u0259tir\u0259rk\u0259n davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131mda s\u0259birsizlik, d\u00f6z\u00fcms\u00fczl\u00fck hiss ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdiniz.<\/p>\n
El\u0259 h\u0259min pay\u0131z \u00e7iynimd\u0259 \u00e7antam, gitaram v\u0259 h\u0259mi\u015f\u0259 \u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 g\u0259zdirdiyim yaz\u0131 makinamla \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259nin q\u0259dim su d\u0259yirman\u0131 v\u0259 d\u00f6rd bir yan\u0131nda hamar t\u0259s\u0259rr\u00fcfat sah\u0259l\u0259ri olan balaca k\u0259ndi, Norfolkun, Bakston \u0259razisin\u0259 g\u0259ldim. T\u0259hsili ba\u015fa vurduqdan sonra \u015e\u0259rqi Anqlia Universitetind\u0259 bir illik Yarad\u0131c\u0131 Yazarl\u0131q d\u0259rsl\u0259ri almaq t\u0259klifini q\u0259bul etdiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bura g\u0259lmi\u015fdim. Universitet buradan on mil (16 km \u2013 red.) uzaql\u0131qda, Norve\u00e7 \u015f\u0259h\u0259r kils\u0259si yax\u0131nl\u0131\u011f\u0131nd\u0259 yerl\u0259\u015firdi. Ma\u015f\u0131n\u0131m olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan yegan\u0259 \u00e7\u0131x\u0131\u015f yolum s\u0259h\u0259r, g\u00fcnorta v\u0259 ax\u015fam bir d\u0259f\u0259 burdan ke\u00e7\u0259n avtobusa \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc \u00e7atd\u0131rmaq idi. Amma sonra g\u00f6rd\u00fcm ki, bunda el\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck \u00e7\u0259tinlik yox imi\u015f. Universitet\u0259 h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 iki d\u0259f\u0259d\u0259n \u00e7ox g\u0259lm\u0259yim t\u0259l\u0259b olunmurdu. Odur ki, h\u0259yat yolda\u015f\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n t\u0259rk edilmi\u015f, t\u0259xmin\u0259n otuz ya\u015fl\u0131 bir ki\u015finin balaca evind\u0259 bir otaq kiray\u0259l\u0259dim. \u00c7ox g\u00fcman, ona el\u0259 g\u0259lirdi ki, ev onun pozulmu\u015f yuxular\u0131ndan yaranan ruhlarla doludur. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, sad\u0259c\u0259 m\u0259nd\u0259n can\u0131n\u0131 qurtarmaq ist\u0259yirdi. H\u0259r halda, ax\u0131r g\u00fcn\u0259 kimi ona fikir verm\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. Ba\u015fqa s\u00f6zl\u0259, Londonda s\u00fcrd\u00fcy\u00fcm \u00e7\u0131l\u011f\u0131n h\u0259yat t\u0259rzind\u0259n sonra, burada m\u0259ni daxil\u0259n transformasiya edib yaz\u0131\u00e7\u0131ya \u00e7evir\u0259n qeyri-adi d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 d\u0259rin sakitlik v\u0259 t\u0259nhal\u0131qla qar\u015f\u0131la\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n
\u018fslind\u0259, m\u0259nim balaca ota\u011f\u0131m klassik yazarlar\u0131n t\u0259svir etdiyi mansartlara he\u00e7 ox\u015fam\u0131rd\u0131. Tavanlar \u0259caib formada \u0259yilmi\u015fdi \u2013 barmaqlar\u0131m\u0131n ucunda dursam, p\u0259nc\u0259r\u0259md\u0259n uzanan \u015fumlanm\u0131\u015f tarlalara m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259 a\u00e7\u0131l\u0131rd\u0131. Otaqda balaca bir masam, \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 qoydu\u011fum yaz\u0131 makinam v\u0259 lampam dem\u0259k olar ki, onu tamamil\u0259 doldururdu. Yerd\u0259 yataq yerin\u0259 h\u0259tta Norfolkun s\u0259rt ayazl\u0131 gec\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 bel\u0259 t\u0259r-su i\u00e7ind\u0259 qalma\u011f\u0131ma s\u0259b\u0259b olan b\u00f6y\u00fck d\u00f6rdk\u00fcnc s\u00fcng\u0259r var idi.<\/p>\n
M\u0259hz bu otaqda b\u00fct\u00fcn yay \u0259rzind\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m iki q\u0131sa hekay\u0259mi yeni sinif yolda\u015flar\u0131ma t\u0259qdim etm\u0259k, yax\u015f\u0131 olub-olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 d\u0259qiql\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn diqq\u0259tl\u0259 oxumu\u015fdum. Biz \u2013 sinifd\u0259ki alt\u0131 n\u0259f\u0259r h\u0259r iki h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259n bir topla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131q. H\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131n bu d\u00f6vrl\u0259rind\u0259 yazd\u0131\u011f\u0131m bir x\u0131rda n\u0259sr par\u00e7as\u0131 (hekay\u0259) il\u0259 BBC-nin yay\u0131mlamaqdan imtina etdiyi radio pyesd\u0259 i\u015ftirak h\u00fcququ qazanm\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. 20 ya\u015f\u0131m\u0131n \u0259vv\u0259ll\u0259rind\u0259 bir rok-star olmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn q\u0259ti q\u0259rar vermi\u015f olsam da, getdikc\u0259 \u0259d\u0259bi ehtiraslar\u0131m b\u00fct\u00fcn ist\u0259kl\u0259rim\u0259 g\u00fcc g\u0259lm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131. O vaxt h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259, d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 oxuyub, yoxlad\u0131\u011f\u0131m hekay\u0259l\u0259r is\u0259 universitetd\u0259 yarad\u0131c\u0131 yazarl\u0131q d\u0259rsl\u0259rin\u0259 q\u0259bulla ba\u011fl\u0131 ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m cavab\u0131n h\u0259y\u0259can\u0131 il\u0259 yaz\u0131lm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. Biri t\u00fck\u00fcrp\u0259d\u0259n intihar s\u00f6vd\u0259l\u0259\u015fm\u0259si haqq\u0131nda, dig\u0259ri is\u0259 bir zamanlar sosial i\u015f\u00e7i kimi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131\u011f\u0131m \u015eotlandiyada ba\u015f vermi\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259 davalar\u0131 bar\u0259d\u0259 idi. El\u0259 d\u0259 yax\u015f\u0131 al\u0131nmam\u0131\u015fd\u0131lar. Odur ki, ba\u015fqa bir hekay\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. O d\u00f6vr\u00fcn \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259sind\u0259 h\u0259mya\u015f\u0131dlar\u0131ndan \u00f6rn\u0259k alaraq, pi\u015fiyini z\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259mi\u015f bir yeniyetm\u0259 haqq\u0131nda yazd\u0131m. Sonra h\u0259min o balaca otaqda ke\u00e7irdiyim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcnc\u00fc, ya da d\u00f6rd\u00fcnc\u00fc h\u0259ft\u0259d\u0259 bir gec\u0259 yeni v\u0259 qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131al\u0131nmaz g\u0259rginlikl\u0259 Yaponiya, do\u011fuldu\u011fum \u015f\u0259h\u0259r \u2013 Naqasaki bar\u0259d\u0259, \u0130kinci D\u00fcnya m\u00fcharib\u0259sinin son g\u00fcnl\u0259ri haqq\u0131nda yazma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m.<\/p>\n
X\u00fcsusil\u0259 qeyd edim ki, bu m\u0259n\u0259 d\u0259 s\u00fcrpriz kimi g\u0259ldi. G\u00fcn\u00fcm\u00fczd\u0259 qar\u0131\u015f\u0131q m\u0259d\u0259ni irsi t\u0259msil ed\u0259n h\u0259v\u0259skar g\u0259nc yazarlar \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u0259d\u0259bi n\u00fcmun\u0259l\u0259r\u0259 h\u0259dsiz d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 h\u0259ssasl\u0131qla k\u00f6kl\u0259nm\u0259k, az qala instinktiv bir h\u0259r\u0259k\u0259t kimi q\u0259bul edilir. Amma o zamanlar bu \u0259l\u00e7atan ideya deyildi. Biz h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 Britaniyada “\u00e7oxm\u0259d\u0259niyy\u0259tli\u201d \u0259d\u0259biyyat partlay\u0131\u015f\u0131ndan bir ne\u00e7\u0259 il uzaq idik. Salman R\u00fc\u015fdi n\u0259\u015fri tamamil\u0259 sat\u0131l\u0131b qurtarm\u0131\u015f bir roman\u0131 olmas\u0131na baxmayaraq, \u0259d\u0259bi imzas\u0131 il\u0259 tan\u0131nm\u0131rd\u0131. O g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 qabaqc\u0131l Britaniya yazarlar\u0131 il\u0259 maraqlansayd\u0131n\u0131z, insanlar ya Marqaret Drabbl\u0131n ad\u0131n\u0131 dey\u0259rdi, ya da daha ya\u015fl\u0131lar\u0131 \u0130ris Murdok, Kinqsli Amis, Uilyam Qoldinq, Entoni B\u00f6rges, Con Faulesi misal g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259rdil\u0259r. Xarici yazarlardan is\u0259 Qabriel Qarsia Markes, Milan Kundera, Borxes bel\u0259 az oxunurdu. B\u0259z\u0259n daimi oxucular \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn bel\u0259 onlar\u0131n ad\u0131 bir m\u0259na k\u0259sb etmirdi.<\/p>\n
Daxili d\u00fcnyamda \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tli yeni bir istiqam\u0259t tapm\u0131\u015f olma\u011f\u0131n \u0259minliyi il\u0259 ilk Yapon hekay\u0259mi tamamlayanda \u0259d\u0259bi m\u00fchit bel\u0259 idi. Hekay\u0259ni bitir\u0259n kimi i\u00e7imi bird\u0259n bu m\u00f6vzu il\u0259 ba\u011fl\u0131 nigaranl\u0131q b\u00fcr\u00fcd\u00fc. Bird\u0259n oradan ayr\u0131lma\u011f\u0131m\u0131z rahatl\u0131q axtar\u0131\u015f\u0131 kimi q\u0259bul edil\u0259r, b\u0259lk\u0259 bel\u0259 h\u0259yati m\u00f6vzuya qay\u0131tmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox tezdir dey\u0259 d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fcm. Bu nigaranl\u0131q sad\u0259c\u0259 hekay\u0259ni yax\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131ma g\u00f6st\u0259r\u0259n\u0259 kimi davam etdi. H\u0259min g\u00fcn \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 dostlar\u0131ma, m\u00fc\u0259lliml\u0259rim\u0259, Malkolm Bredb\u00f6ri, Angela Karter v\u0259 universitetimizin h\u0259min il m\u00fchazir\u0259\u00e7i-yazar\u0131 olmu\u015f Paul Beyliy\u0259 t\u0259kidli v\u0259 c\u0259sar\u0259tl\u0259ndirici cavablar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn d\u0259rin t\u0259\u015f\u0259kk\u00fcr\u00fcm\u00fc bildirir\u0259m. \u018fg\u0259r t\u0259qdiredici fikirl\u0259rind\u0259 qeyri-\u0259minlik hiss ets\u0259ydim, y\u0259qin ki, bir d\u0259 he\u00e7 vaxt Yaponiya haqq\u0131nda yazmazd\u0131m. Buna g\u00f6r\u0259 d\u0259, ota\u011f\u0131ma qay\u0131td\u0131m, yazd\u0131m, yazd\u0131m, yazd\u0131m…<\/p>\n
1979-80-ci ilin q\u0131\u015f\u0131 v\u0259 yaza do\u011fru be\u015f t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 yolda\u015f\u0131m, s\u0259h\u0259r yem\u0259yi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn yulaf v\u0259 qar\u011f\u0131dal\u0131 k\u0259p\u0259yi, quzu ciy\u0259ri ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m k\u0259ndin \u0259rzaq ma\u011fazas\u0131n\u0131n sat\u0131c\u0131s\u0131, h\u0259ft\u0259sonlar\u0131n\u0131n h\u0259r bir saniy\u0259sini m\u0259n\u0259 ay\u0131ran sevgilim, indi xan\u0131m\u0131m olan Lornadan ba\u015fqa he\u00e7 kiml\u0259 dan\u0131\u015fmad\u0131m. D\u00fczd\u00fcr, bu normal h\u0259yat t\u0259rzi deyil, amma h\u0259min o d\u00f6rd-be\u015f ay \u0259rzind\u0259 hadis\u0259l\u0259rin atom bombas\u0131ndan sonrak\u0131 yenid\u0259nqurma ill\u0259rind\u0259ki Naqasakid\u0259 ba\u015f verdiyi birinci roman\u0131m “T\u0259p\u0259l\u0259rin sol\u011fun m\u0259nz\u0259r\u0259si\u201dnin (“A pale view of hills\u201d) ilk yar\u0131s\u0131n\u0131 tamamlama\u011f\u0131 bacard\u0131m. Bu m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259rzind\u0259 xat\u0131rlay\u0131ram ki, s\u00fcr\u0259tl\u0259 t\u00fck\u0259n\u0259n yaratmaq ehtiras\u0131m\u0131 art\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u0259z\u0259n Yaponiyada ba\u015f verm\u0259y\u0259n q\u0131sa hekay\u0259 ideyalar\u0131n\u0131 da yaz\u0131ya g\u0259tirirdim.<\/p>\n
O aylar m\u0259nim \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn \u00e7ox kritik m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259 idi v\u0259 b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 o m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259d\u0259n ke\u00e7m\u0259s\u0259ydim, he\u00e7 vaxt yazar olmayacaqd\u0131m. Sonralar h\u0259min d\u00f6vrl\u0259ri xat\u0131rlay\u0131b, tez-tez \u00f6z\u00fcm\u0259 sual verir\u0259m: m\u0259n\u0259 n\u0259 olmu\u015fdu, g\u00f6r\u0259s\u0259n? B\u00fct\u00fcn bunlara m\u0259ni s\u00f6vq ed\u0259n o q\u0259rib\u0259 enerji n\u0259d\u0259n qaynaqlan\u0131rd\u0131? G\u0259ldiyim yegan\u0259 n\u0259tic\u0259 bu idi: h\u0259yat\u0131m\u0131 tamamil\u0259 m\u00fchafiz\u0259 etm\u0259k v\u0259 t\u0259cili \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 harasa ba\u011flanma\u011fa m\u0259cbur oldu\u011fumu anlamaq. Bunu ayd\u0131nla\u015fd\u0131rmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn, bir q\u0259d\u0259r d\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015f\u0259 qay\u0131tmal\u0131 olaca\u011fam.<\/p>\n
1960-c\u0131 ilin aprelind\u0259, be\u015f ya\u015f\u0131mda ail\u0259m v\u0259 bac\u0131mla birg\u0259 Londonun 30 mil c\u0259nubunda yerl\u0259\u015f\u0259n, varl\u0131 birja\u00e7\u0131lar qrupunun v\u0259t\u0259ni olan Gildforda g\u0259ldim. Atam okean axtar\u0131\u015flar\u0131 \u00fczr\u0259 m\u00fct\u0259x\u0259ssisl\u0259\u015fmi\u015f ara\u015fd\u0131rma\u00e7\u0131 alim kimi Britaniya h\u00f6kum\u0259ti \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn i\u015fl\u0259m\u0259k t\u0259klifini q\u0259bul etmi\u015fdi. Onun xo\u015fb\u0259xt bir t\u0259sad\u00fcf n\u0259tic\u0259sind\u0259 k\u0259\u015ff etdiyi makina bu g\u00fcn London Elm Muzeyinin daimi kolleksiyas\u0131n\u0131n ayr\u0131lmaz par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r.<\/p>\n
Bizim g\u0259li\u015fimizd\u0259n \u00e7ox q\u0131sa zaman sonra \u00e7\u0259kil\u0259n \u015f\u0259kill\u0259rd\u0259 g\u00f6rd\u00fckl\u0259riniz \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 yox olmu\u015f bir d\u00f6vr\u00fc \u0259ks etdirir. Ki\u015fil\u0259r ipli, “V\u201d h\u0259rfin\u0259 b\u0259nz\u0259r k\u0259simli yun koftalar geyinirdi, ma\u015f\u0131nlara minm\u0259k rahat olsun dey\u0259 ki\u00e7ik pill\u0259l\u0259r qoyulurdu, arxas\u0131nda da ehtiyat t\u0259k\u0259ri olurdu. Bitlz, seksual inqilab, t\u0259l\u0259b\u0259 \u00fcsyanlar\u0131, h\u0259r k\u00fcncd\u0259n ba\u015f qald\u0131ran burum-burum qalxan “multikulturalizm\u201d havas\u0131… H\u0259tta ail\u0259likc\u0259 ilk vaxtlarda, h\u0259qiq\u0259t\u0259n d\u0259, \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldiyimiz\u0259 inanmaqda \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259kirdik. Fransa v\u0259 \u0130taliyadan g\u0259l\u0259n xaricil\u0259rl\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f olmaq kifay\u0259t q\u0259d\u0259r c\u0259lbedici idi, Yaponiyadan g\u0259l\u0259nl\u0259ri is\u0259 vecl\u0259rin\u0259 d\u0259 alm\u0131rd\u0131lar.<\/p>\n
Biz asfalt yollar\u0131n bitib, da\u011f c\u0131\u011f\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131n ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 yerd\u0259 on iki evd\u0259n ibar\u0259t dalana dir\u0259nmi\u015f k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259d\u0259ki evl\u0259rd\u0259n birind\u0259 ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131q. Yerli fermaya kimi be\u015f d\u0259qiq\u0259lik piyada yol idi, h\u0259min dar yolla h\u0259r g\u00fcn in\u0259kl\u0259r enir, ax\u015famlar \u00e7\u0259tinlikl\u0259 qalx\u0131rd\u0131lar. S\u00fcd\u00fc h\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r ya at, ya da arabalarla g\u0259tirib paylay\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259y\u0259 g\u0259ldiyim ilk g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259n yad\u0131mda qalan \u0259n canl\u0131 xatir\u0259 kirpil\u0259rdir. \u015eirin, tikanl\u0131, gec\u0259l\u0259r i\u015f\u0259 ba\u015flayan bu varl\u0131qlar b\u00f6lg\u0259ni “\u0259l\u0259 ke\u00e7irmi\u015fdil\u0259r\u201d. Gec\u0259l\u0259r ma\u015f\u0131nlar\u0131n t\u0259k\u0259rl\u0259rin\u0259 yap\u0131\u015f\u0131r, s\u0259h\u0259rl\u0259r \u00e7\u00f6ld\u0259 yol k\u0259nar\u0131nda s\u0131ra il\u0259 b\u00fcz\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr, zibily\u0131\u011fanlar t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n toplanma\u011f\u0131 “g\u00f6zl\u0259yirdil\u0259r\u201d.<\/p>\n
B\u00fct\u00fcn qon\u015fular\u0131m\u0131z \u0259n\u0259n\u0259vi qaydada kils\u0259y\u0259 gedirdil\u0259r. B\u0259z\u0259n onlar\u0131n u\u015faqlar\u0131 il\u0259 oynama\u011fa ged\u0259nd\u0259 fikir verirdim ki, yem\u0259kd\u0259n \u0259vv\u0259l q\u0131sa bir dua oxuyurlar.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Bazar g\u00fcn\u00fc m\u0259kt\u0259bin\u0259 qo\u015fulmam\u0131\u015fdan \u0259vv\u0259l m\u0259n d\u0259 uzun m\u00fcdd\u0259t idi ki, kils\u0259 xorunda oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flam\u0131\u015fd\u0131m. 10 ya\u015f\u0131mda Gildfordun ilk yapon xor apar\u0131c\u0131s\u0131 idim. Oxudu\u011fum yerli orta m\u0259kt\u0259bd\u0259 ingilis olmayan yegan\u0259 u\u015faq idim, b\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259 o m\u0259kt\u0259bin tarixind\u0259 ilk yapon \u015fagird m\u0259n idim. 11 ya\u015f\u0131mdan qon\u015fu \u015f\u0259h\u0259rd\u0259ki m\u0259kt\u0259b\u0259 getm\u0259li oldum v\u0259 qatarla s\u0259yah\u0259t etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. H\u0259r s\u0259h\u0259r Londondak\u0131 ofisl\u0259rin\u0259 ged\u0259n x\u0131rda c\u0131z\u0131ql\u0131, r\u0259smi kostyumlar geyin\u0259n, melon \u015fapka taxan ki\u015fil\u0259r \u00e7antam\u0131 aparmaqda m\u0259n\u0259 k\u00f6m\u0259k edirdil\u0259r.<\/p>\n
Bu m\u0259rh\u0259l\u0259d\u0259 d\u00f6vr\u00fcn orta sinif ingilis ail\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcm\u00fc\u015f o\u011flan u\u015faqlar\u0131ndan g\u00f6zl\u0259nil\u0259n n\u0259z\u0259r\u0259\u00e7arpan m\u0259d\u0259ni davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 d\u0259rind\u0259n m\u0259nims\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Dostlar\u0131m\u0131n evin\u0259 qonaq ged\u0259nd\u0259 ota\u011fa daxil olan b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u0259 h\u00f6rm\u0259t \u0259lam\u0259ti kimi aya\u011fa durmal\u0131, yem\u0259k masas\u0131ndan qalxmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259rd\u0259n icaz\u0259 ist\u0259m\u0259li oldu\u011fumu \u00f6yr\u0259n\u015fdim. Qon\u015fuluqdak\u0131 \u0259razil\u0259r d\u0259 daxil olmaqla, b\u00f6lg\u0259d\u0259 yegan\u0259 xarici u\u015faq idim v\u0259 t\u0259bii ki, yax\u0131n \u00e7evr\u0259md\u0259 m\u0259ni daima q\u0259rib\u0259, n\u0259cib maraq izl\u0259yirdi. Tan\u0131mad\u0131\u011f\u0131m u\u015faqlar bel\u0259 kim oldu\u011fumu tan\u0131\u015fl\u0131qdan \u0259vv\u0259l bilirdil\u0259r. Kim oldu\u011fuma tamamil\u0259 nab\u0259l\u0259d olan b\u00f6y\u00fckl\u0259r is\u0259 m\u0259ni \u00e7a\u011f\u0131randa hans\u0131sa k\u00fc\u00e7\u0259nin v\u0259 ya ma\u011fazan\u0131n ad\u0131 il\u0259 m\u00fcraci\u0259t edirdil\u0259r.<\/p>\n
\u0130ndi geriy\u0259 \u2013 h\u0259min ill\u0259r\u0259 baxanda yad\u0131ma d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr ki, onda Yaponiyan\u0131n Britaniyan\u0131n qat\u0131 d\u00fc\u015fm\u0259ni oldu\u011fu m\u00fcharib\u0259 d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259n iyirmi ild\u0259n d\u0259 az bir vaxt ke\u00e7mi\u015fdi. Buna baxmayaraq, bu sad\u0259 ingilis c\u0259miyy\u0259tinin ail\u0259miz\u0259 g\u00f6st\u0259rdiyi s\u0259xav\u0259tli, mehriban m\u00fcnasib\u0259t, bizi s\u0259mimiyy\u0259tl\u0259 q\u0259bul etm\u0259l\u0259ri m\u0259ni heyran qoymu\u015fdu. M\u0259nd\u0259 h\u0259r \u015fey\u0259 sevgi, h\u00f6rm\u0259t v\u0259 xo\u015f maraqla yana\u015fmaq hissi \u0130kinci D\u00fcnya m\u00fcharib\u0259sind\u0259n \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015f britaniyal\u0131lar\u0131n bu n\u0259slinin davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131 yarand\u0131. M\u00fcharib\u0259nin da\u011f\u0131nt\u0131lar\u0131n\u0131 aradan qald\u0131rmaq, rifahl\u0131 h\u00f6kum\u0259t qurmaq u\u011frunda c\u0259hdl\u0259r m\u0259hz h\u0259min ill\u0259rd\u0259 \u015f\u0259xsi t\u0259cr\u00fcb\u0259l\u0259rimin qayna\u011f\u0131 oldu.<\/p>\n
Amma b\u00fct\u00fcn bu zaman \u0259rzind\u0259 paralel olaraq, evimizd\u0259 yapon valideynl\u0259riml\u0259 ba\u015fqa bir h\u0259yat ya\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m. Evin i\u00e7ind\u0259 tamamil\u0259 ba\u015fqa qaydalar, umacaqlar, f\u0259rqli bir dil vard\u0131. \u00c7\u00fcnki valideynl\u0259rim, \u0259slind\u0259 bir, uza\u011f\u0131 iki il sonra Yaponiyaya qay\u0131tma\u011f\u0131 planla\u015fd\u0131r\u0131rd\u0131lar. \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259d\u0259 ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z ilk on bir ilin h\u0259r birind\u0259 “g\u0259l\u0259n il qay\u0131d\u0131r\u0131q\u201d fikrin\u0259 k\u00f6kl\u0259nib, ya\u015fad\u0131q. N\u0259tic\u0259 is\u0259 bu idi ki, ail\u0259min c\u0259miyy\u0259t\u0259 m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti immiqrant yox, turist m\u00fcnasib\u0259ti formas\u0131nda qald\u0131. Tez-tez yerli camaat\u0131n onlarda maraq oyadan q\u0259rib\u0259 \u0259n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rini q\u0259tiyy\u0259n m\u0259nims\u0259m\u0259y\u0259 meyillilik h\u0259v\u0259si olmadan m\u00fczakir\u0259 edirdil\u0259r. H\u0259tta t\u0259hsilimi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnc\u0259md\u0259ki yapon \u0259n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rini m\u00f6hk\u0259ml\u0259ndirsin dey\u0259, yeniyetm\u0259lik ill\u0259rimd\u0259 Yaponiyaya qay\u0131tmaqla ba\u011fl\u0131 q\u0259rar \u0259vv\u0259lki ill\u0259r\u0259 nisb\u0259t\u0259n daha q\u0259ti \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 s\u0259sl\u0259ndirilirdi. H\u0259r ay Yaponiyadan q\u0131sa m\u00fcdd\u0259td\u0259 h\u0259v\u0259sl\u0259 oxuyub, bitir\u0259c\u0259yim cizgi romanlar\u0131ndan, jurnallardan, t\u0259lim materiallar\u0131ndan ibar\u0259t ba\u011flama g\u0259l\u0259rdi. Yeniyetm\u0259lik ill\u0259rimin bir d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259 bu ba\u011flamalar\u0131n aras\u0131 k\u0259sildi \u2013 y\u0259qin ki, babam r\u0259hm\u0259t\u0259 getdiyi \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn. Amma valideynl\u0259rimin dostlar\u0131, qohumlar\u0131 haqq\u0131nda xatir\u0259l\u0259ri, Yaponiyada ya\u015fad\u0131qlar\u0131 hadis\u0259l\u0259r yadda\u015f\u0131mda canl\u0131 v\u0259 sabit t\u0259svirl\u0259r, t\u0259sirl\u0259r oyad\u0131rd\u0131. Sonra is\u0259 bu xatir\u0259l\u0259ri yadda\u015f\u0131mda s\u0259hmana salma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m: n\u0259n\u0259-babam\u0131n, orada qoyub g\u0259ldiyim sevimli oyuncaqlar\u0131m\u0131, ya\u015fad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u0259n\u0259n\u0259vi yapon evini (h\u0259tta bu g\u00fcn d\u0259 o evi beynimd\u0259 otaq-otaq rekonstruksiya edir\u0259m), u\u015faq ba\u011f\u00e7as\u0131n\u0131, tramvay dayanaca\u011f\u0131n\u0131, k\u00f6rp\u00fcn\u00fcn yan\u0131nda m\u0259sk\u0259n salm\u0131\u015f quduz iti, b\u0259rb\u0259rin d\u00fckan\u0131n qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda s\u0131rf balaca o\u011flan u\u015faqlar\u0131 \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn qoyulmu\u015f stulu, qar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda ma\u015f\u0131n t\u0259k\u0259ri il\u0259 b\u0259rkidilmi\u015f g\u00fczg\u00fcn\u00fc unutmama\u011fa \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n
N\u0259zmd\u0259 qurmaca d\u00fcnyalar yaratmaq haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flamam\u0131\u015fdan \u00e7ox-\u00e7ox \u0259vv\u0259l, m\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcm bu d\u00fcnyalar\u0131n i\u00e7ind\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fcy\u00fcrd\u00fcm. Beynimd\u0259 z\u0259ngin detallarla b\u0259z\u0259dilmi\u015f “Yaponiya\u201d adl\u0131 bir diyar in\u015fa edirdim. Bura m\u0259nim hans\u0131sa h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259rk etm\u0259diyim bir yolla ba\u011fl\u0131 oldu\u011fum, kimliyimi, \u00f6zg\u00fcv\u0259nimi buradan ald\u0131\u011f\u0131m yer idi. B\u00fct\u00fcn bu ill\u0259r \u0259rzind\u0259 bir d\u0259f\u0259 d\u0259 olsun fiziki \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 Yaponiyada olmad\u0131m. Amma eyni zamanda b\u00fct\u00fcn bu ill\u0259r \u0259rzind\u0259 bu \u00f6lk\u0259nin yadda\u015f\u0131mda daha canl\u0131 v\u0259 x\u00fcsusi bir g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fd\u0259 qalmas\u0131na \u00e7al\u0131\u015fd\u0131m.<\/p>\n
Ba\u015fqa s\u00f6zl\u0259, bu m\u0259nim Yaponiyan\u0131 yadda\u015f\u0131mda qoruma\u011fa duydu\u011fum ehtiyacdan yarand\u0131. Zaman ax\u0131b ke\u00e7di, iyirmi ya\u015flar\u0131m\u0131n ortalar\u0131na \u00e7atd\u0131m. Bunu he\u00e7 vaxt a\u00e7\u0131q \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 ifad\u0259 etm\u0259mi\u015f olsam da, art\u0131q b\u0259zi \u015feyl\u0259rin \u0259h\u0259miyy\u0259tini d\u0259rk etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. Daha “m\u0259nim\u201d Yaponiyam\u0131n t\u0259yyar\u0259 il\u0259 ged\u0259 bil\u0259c\u0259yim bir yer olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 q\u0259bul edirdim. Valideynl\u0259rimin n\u0259ql etdikl\u0259ri h\u0259yat t\u0259rzi, u\u015faql\u0131q ill\u0259rimd\u0259n xat\u0131rlad\u0131qlar\u0131m 1960-70-ci ill\u0259rd\u0259 art\u0131q tamamil\u0259 yox olub, s\u0131radan \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. M\u0259nim t\u0259x\u0259yy\u00fcl\u00fcmd\u0259ki Yaponiya u\u015faql\u0131q xatir\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259n, x\u0259yal g\u00fcc\u00fcnd\u0259n, iki d\u00fcnyan\u0131n qar\u0131\u015f\u0131\u011f\u0131ndan yaranm\u0131\u015f emosional bir konstruksiya idi. V\u0259 b\u00fct\u00fcn bunlar\u0131n fonunda \u0259n vacib m\u0259s\u0259l\u0259 bu idi ki, h\u0259r il ya\u015f \u00fcst\u00fcn\u0259 ya\u015f g\u0259ldikc\u0259, b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fckc\u0259, m\u0259nim olan Yaponiya, onunla b\u00f6y\u00fcd\u00fcy\u00fcm d\u0259y\u0259rli m\u0259kan yadda\u015f\u0131mda ild\u0259n-il\u0259 sol\u011funla\u015f\u0131rd\u0131.<\/p>\n
Art\u0131q tamamil\u0259 \u0259min\u0259m ki, Norfolkda, o balaca otaqda m\u0259ni yazma\u011fa s\u00f6vq ed\u0259n d\u0259 m\u0259hz i\u00e7imd\u0259ki bu ba\u015fqalar\u0131 t\u0259r\u0259find\u0259n k\u0259\u015ff olunma\u011fa qapal\u0131, \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259m\u0259xsus v\u0259 eyni zamanda incik Yaponiyam\u0131n oyatd\u0131\u011f\u0131 duy\u011fu idi. M\u0259n sad\u0259c\u0259 o d\u00fcnyan\u0131n r\u0259ngl\u0259rini, \u0259n\u0259n\u0259l\u0259rini, v\u0259rdi\u015fl\u0259rini, a\u011f\u0131r\u00e7\u0259kililiyini, \u00e7at\u0131\u015fmazl\u0131qlar\u0131n\u0131 \u2013 bu d\u00fcnyan\u0131 “in\u015fa ed\u0259rk\u0259n\u201d ona aid etdiyim h\u0259r \u015feyi, onlar yadda\u015f\u0131mdan silinm\u0259k taleyi il\u0259 \u00fczl\u0259\u015fm\u0259mi\u015f ka\u011f\u0131za k\u00f6\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fcrd\u00fcm. \u00d6z Yaponiyam\u0131 bir romanda yenid\u0259n in\u015fa etm\u0259k, onu \u0259b\u0259diyy\u0259n qorumaq m\u0259nim arzum idi. \u0130st\u0259yirdim ki, n\u0259 zamansa bir kitab\u0131 g\u00f6st\u0259rib, \u0259minlikl\u0259 dey\u0259 bilim: “B\u0259li, bu m\u0259nim Yaponiyamd\u0131r, o, bunun i\u00e7ind\u0259dir\u201d.<\/p>\n
**<\/p>\n
\u00dc\u00e7 il yar\u0131m sonra, 1983-c\u00fc ilin yaz\u0131. Lorna il\u0259 Londonday\u0131q art\u0131q. \u015e\u0259h\u0259rin \u0259n y\u00fcks\u0259k t\u0259p\u0259sind\u0259 tikilmi\u015f y\u0131\u011fcam, h\u00fcnd\u00fcr binan\u0131n \u0259n \u00fcst m\u0259rt\u0259b\u0259sind\u0259 iki otaq kiray\u0259l\u0259dik. Evin d\u00fcz yan\u0131nda televiziya dir\u0259yi vard\u0131. N\u0259 vaxt s\u0259s yaz\u0131lar\u0131na qulaq asmaq ist\u0259s\u0259k, qorxunc radio x\u0259tl\u0259ri araya girib, valdak\u0131 s\u0259sl\u0259r\u0259 mane olurdu. Qonaq ota\u011f\u0131nda n\u0259 divan, n\u0259 kreslo vard\u0131, \u0259v\u0259zind\u0259 \u00fcst\u00fc yast\u0131qlarla \u00f6rt\u00fclm\u00fc\u015f iki matras qoyulmu\u015fdu. Bir d\u0259 b\u00f6y\u00fck bir masa. G\u00fcnd\u00fczl\u0259r bu masada m\u0259n i\u015fl\u0259yirdim, ax\u015famlar is\u0259 \u015fam edirdik. He\u00e7 d\u0259 d\u0259bd\u0259b\u0259li m\u0259nzil deyildi, amma ikimiz\u0259 d\u0259 burada ya\u015famaq xo\u015f idi. Bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u0259vv\u0259l ilk roman\u0131m \u00e7apdan \u00e7\u0131xm\u0131\u015fd\u0131. V\u0259 tezlikl\u0259 Britaniya televiziyas\u0131nda yay\u0131mlanacaq q\u0131sametrajl\u0131 filmin ssenarisi \u00fcz\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259yirdim.<\/p>\n
\u0130lk roman\u0131m\u0131n n\u0259\u015frind\u0259n sonra bir m\u00fcdd\u0259t \u00f6z\u00fcml\u0259 f\u0259xr edirdim v\u0259 buna \u0259sas\u0131m da var idi. Ancaq el\u0259 h\u0259min yaz i\u00e7im\u0259 qay\u011f\u0131l\u0131 bir narahatl\u0131q doldu. N\u0259s\u0259 problem var idi. \u0130lk roman\u0131m v\u0259 ilk televiziya ssenarim bir-birin\u0259 \u00e7ox ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131. M\u00f6vzu bax\u0131m\u0131ndan f\u0259rqli olsa da, metod v\u0259 \u00fcslub eyni idi. Bir az da \u00e7\u0259k-\u00e7evir ed\u0259nd\u0259n sonra ba\u015fa d\u00fc\u015fd\u00fcm ki, roman\u0131m ssenariy\u0259 daha \u00e7ox ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131, dialoqlar, istiqam\u0259tl\u0259ndirm\u0259l\u0259r b\u0259nz\u0259rdir. Bu m\u00fc\u0259yy\u0259n m\u0259nada ba\u015fad\u00fc\u015f\u00fcl\u0259n idi, amma m\u0259nim o d\u00f6vr \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn arzum yaln\u0131z kitab s\u0259hif\u0259l\u0259rind\u0259 i\u015fl\u0259y\u0259n metodlarla bir roman yazmaq idi. \u018fg\u0259r insanlar televizoru a\u00e7anda da eyni \u015feyi g\u00f6r\u0259c\u0259kl\u0259rs\u0259, onda niy\u0259 roman yaz\u0131ram ki? \u018fg\u0259r hekay\u0259 oxucuya dig\u0259r forma v\u0259 janrlar\u0131n a\u015f\u0131lamad\u0131\u011f\u0131 \u00f6z\u00fcn\u0259m\u0259xsus bir \u015fey v\u0259d etmirs\u0259, onun kino v\u0259 televiziya il\u0259 “m\u00fcbariz\u0259d\u0259n sa\u011f \u00e7\u0131xmas\u0131\u201dna nec\u0259 \u00fcmid ba\u011flamaq olar?<\/p>\n
El\u0259 h\u0259min vaxtlarda b\u0259d\u0259nim virusa yoluxdu v\u0259 bir ne\u00e7\u0259 g\u00fcn\u00fc yataqda ke\u00e7irtdim. X\u0259st\u0259liyin yuxululuqla m\u00fc\u015fayi\u0259t olunan lap a\u011f\u0131r d\u00f6vr\u00fcnd\u0259n qurtulub, \u00f6z\u00fcm\u00fc art\u0131q daha ay\u0131q hiss etm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flayanda yor\u011fan-d\u00f6\u015f\u0259yimin alt\u0131nda n\u0259s\u0259 s\u0259rt bir \u015feyin m\u0259ni narahat etdiyini duydum. Bu, Marsel Prustun “\u0130tirilmi\u015f zaman\u0131n axtar\u0131\u015f\u0131nda\u201d roman\u0131n\u0131n ilk n\u0259\u015frinin bir n\u00fcsx\u0259si idi. Madam ki, \u0259limin alt\u0131ndad\u0131r, oxuma\u011fa ba\u015flad\u0131m. B\u0259lk\u0259 d\u0259, h\u0259l\u0259 d\u0259 q\u0131zd\u0131rmal\u0131 olma\u011f\u0131m\u0131n da bunda rolu var idi, odur ki, “Svana do\u011fru\u201ddaki iki hiss\u0259y\u0259 \u00e7ox ba\u011fland\u0131m. Onlar\u0131 d\u00f6n\u0259-d\u00f6n\u0259 oxudum. Bu hiss\u0259l\u0259rin h\u0259r s\u0259hif\u0259sind\u0259ki g\u00f6z\u0259llik bir yana, Prustun bir epizoddan dig\u0259rin\u0259 ke\u00e7\u0259rk\u0259n s\u0259rgil\u0259diyi ustal\u0131q, yarad\u0131c\u0131 metodlar m\u0259ni valeh el\u0259di. Hadis\u0259l\u0259rin v\u0259 s\u0259hn\u0259l\u0259rin s\u0131ralanmas\u0131 he\u00e7 bir \u0259n\u0259n\u0259vi xronologiyaya uy\u011fun g\u0259lmirdi, biz\u0259 tan\u0131\u015f s\u00fcjetl\u0259rl\u0259 ayaq uydurmurdu. \u018fv\u0259zind\u0259 toxunaql\u0131 fikir assosiasiyalar\u0131, yadda\u015f\u0131n d\u0259lilikl\u0259ri yaz\u0131n\u0131 bir epizoddan dig\u0259rin\u0259 do\u011fru apar\u0131rm\u0131\u015f kimi g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fcrd\u00fc. B\u0259z\u0259n oxuduqlar\u0131m\u0131 saf-\u00e7\u00fcr\u00fck edirdim: nec\u0259 olub ki, a\u00e7\u0131q-a\u015fkar bir-biril\u0259 he\u00e7 bir \u0259laq\u0259si olmayan anlar t\u0259hkiy\u0259\u00e7inin \u015f\u00fcurunda paralel \u015f\u0259kild\u0259 canlan\u0131b? Q\u0259fild\u0259n m\u0259n\u0259 ikinci roman\u0131m\u0131 yazmaq \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn h\u0259y\u0259canverici v\u0259 daha azad yol g\u00f6r\u00fcnd\u00fc. He\u00e7 bir ekran \u0259s\u0259rind\u0259 al\u0131nmayacaq d\u0259r\u0259c\u0259d\u0259 daxili bir ax\u0131na yol verm\u0259kl\u0259 bir s\u0259hif\u0259d\u0259 ist\u0259nil\u0259n q\u0259d\u0259r z\u0259nginliy\u0259 yer verm\u0259k m\u00fcmk\u00fcnd\u00fcr. \u018fg\u0259r m\u0259n bir hiss\u0259d\u0259n dig\u0259rin\u0259 t\u0259hkiy\u0259\u00e7inin fikir assosiasiyalar\u0131 v\u0259 h\u0259yat\u0131n axar\u0131na uy\u011funla\u015fm\u0131\u015f xatir\u0259l\u0259r hesab\u0131na ke\u00e7id ed\u0259 bils\u0259ydim, abstrakt r\u0259ssam\u0131n kanvas\u0131n \u0259traf\u0131na r\u0259ngl\u0259ri v\u0259 formalar\u0131 yerl\u0259\u015fdirm\u0259k \u00fc\u00e7\u00fcn se\u00e7im etdiyi \u00fcsullarla n\u0259s\u0259 yaza bil\u0259rdim. M\u0259n is\u0259 iki g\u00fcn \u0259vv\u0259l a\u011fl\u0131ma g\u0259lmi\u015f bir s\u0259hn\u0259ni, iyirmi il \u0259vv\u0259ld\u0259n beynimd\u0259 ili\u015fib qalm\u0131\u015f bir s\u0259hn\u0259nin yan\u0131nda t\u0259svir ed\u0259 v\u0259 oxucudan bu ikisi aras\u0131ndak\u0131 \u0259laq\u0259 haqq\u0131nda d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259sini ist\u0259y\u0259 bilirdim. Bu \u00fcsullara baxa-baxa d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnm\u0259y\u0259 ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u0130st\u0259nil\u0259n insana onun daxilin\u0259 v\u0259 ke\u00e7mi\u015fin\u0259 dair bax\u0131\u015f\u0131n\u0131 \u00f6rt-basd\u0131r ed\u0259n \u00f6z\u00fcn\u00fcinkar v\u0259 r\u0259ddetm\u0259nin m\u00fcxt\u0259lif yollar\u0131n\u0131 t\u0259klif ed\u0259 bil\u0259rdim.<\/p>\n
\u0130ngilis dilind\u0259n t\u0259rc\u00fcm\u0259 ed\u0259n: Elcan Salmanq\u0131z\u0131<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
\u201c…Roman\u0131m ssenariy\u0259 daha \u00e7ox ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131…\u201d 1979-cu ilin pay\u0131z\u0131nda m\u0259n\u0259 rast g\u0259ls\u0259ydiniz, sosial v\u0259 irqi bax\u0131mdan hans\u0131sa sinf\u0259 aid etm\u0259kd\u0259 \u00e7\u0259tinlik \u00e7\u0259k\u0259rdiniz. Onda 24 ya\u015f\u0131m vard\u0131. Xarici g\u00f6r\u00fcn\u00fc\u015fc\u0259 yaponlara ox\u015fay\u0131rd\u0131m. Amma h\u0259min g\u00fcnl\u0259rd\u0259 Britaniyada rast g\u0259ldiyiniz \u0259ks\u0259r yapon ki\u015fil\u0259rind\u0259n f\u0259rqli olaraq, \u00e7iyinl\u0259rim\u0259 t\u00f6k\u00fcl\u0259n uzun sa\u00e7lar\u0131m, “bandit\u201d t\u0259rzli saqqal\u0131m vard\u0131. Nitqimd\u0259 \u0130ngilt\u0259r\u0259nin c\u0259nubunda Hippi eras\u0131ndan qalma q\u0259dim […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":2091,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[44,52,46,49,57],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2090","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-dunya","category-edbiyyati","category-mdniyyt","category-trcum","category-trcum-flsf"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2090","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2090"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2090\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2101,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2090\/revisions\/2101"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/2091"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2090"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2090"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/imza.info\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2090"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}